Steven Universe Review: "Coach Steven" (Season 1A, Episode 20)

You've messed with Sugilite for the last time! Prepare! For! GLOBNAR!!!!!!

Airdate: August 21st, 2014

Plot: A Gem communication hub is causing bursts of electromagnetic interference. The effects? As Garnet puts it, "it's hurting television". Rather than one of Pearl's strategic moves, Garnet instead ops to use raw power.

"Amethyst, fuse with me."

Enter Sugilite. Built, arrogant and boisterous, she become reckless in her destruction of the hub. This doesn't deter Steven, who suddenly wants to become macho, buff, full of muscle. Hell, he even recruits others (Lars, Sadie, Greg) to join him in his quest to become built. Pearl, though, is driven up the wall because of this.

Review (SPOILERS): First, no, I don't really listen to Nikki Minaj's music. I could not care less about it. I'll stick with the Pet Shop Boys and whatever's playing on WBAB and WLIX, thank you very much. She does a good job in voice acting, though.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way...

There's a lot of irony in the title of this episode. Despite the title indicating that this will focus on Steven, instead, we get what might be the very first "Pearl Pathos" episode - an episode revolving around fleshing out Pearl beyond her neurotic exterior. That helps combine with a bit of social analysis to create what might be the standout episode from Season 1A.

Steven Universe Review: "Rose's Room" (Season 1A, Episode 19)

Steven's gonna have a whale of a time with this room. I am the duke of bad puns.

Airdate: May 14th, 2014

Plot: It is a pretty bad night for Steven. First, the Gems can't go mini-golfing with him because they have a mission. Then, his attempts to play video games are interrupted with the trio's post-mission idiocy. Irritated, he wishes for things to go his way for once - a wish that opens up Rose's Room. In effect a holodeck, Rose's room can generate whatever Steven wishes for. Unfortunately, the effects can often be... dangerous.

Review: "Better Than Life" is my favorite episode of Red Dwarf. The episode features the trio's exploits in the titular Total Immersion Videogame. However, it winds up rooting itself in self-generated psychological terror on Rimmer's part, with his sweetest dreams turning into nightmares. He goes from being a respected, opulent real admiral to a married, bankrupt piece of ant chow, and he drags down the rest of the Red Dwarf gang with him. Needless to say, I died laughing... and brought more Red Dwarf episodes on iTunes.

Speaking of which, "Rose's Room". It takes a similar path. Except with less comedy. And very more emotional overtones (which, considering that the Red Dwarf episode involved Rimmer learning that his abusive father died before Arnie suffered radiation poisoning, is a rather hard feat.)

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Homer to the Max" (Season 10, Episode 13)

Airdate: February 7th, 1999

Plot: One of the midseason shows, Police Cops, features an Ace-type detective named Homer Simpson. This gives Homer a burst of popularity because of the similar names. However, a retool turns the detective into a lout, turning Homer into the joke of the town. After a plea to the executives falls less than flat, he finally decides to sue them. After that court case is thrown out, he asks for a name change to Max Power. With that name, he gains the attention of the A-List in Springfield.

Review (SPOILERS): Can television characters become deeply ingrained in our national psyche? Of course. Can it get to the point where it affects the lives of people with similar names? Likely. This is the topic that the episode was trying to take on, I think. Unfortunately, it's execution is quite a bit wonky, leading to a rather silly third act conclusion.

Steven Universe Review: "Beach Party" (Season 1A, Episode 18)

Ah, to be able to play volleyball... or any sports.

Airdate: April 30th, 2014

Plot: An attempt to destroy a pufferfish results in Garnet crashing into the roof of Fish Stew Pizza. With the trio walking away from the situation, Kofi Pizza (the owner) tells Steven that the trio are not welcome in the shop. Steven tries to patch things up by inviting the Pizza family to a picnic near the Temple. There, we see a bit of a clash between the two sides, drowning out possible underlying similarities... and any potential pufferfishes.

Review: Well, after the dense boringness of "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday", I'm watching a more straightforward episode with a more down to earth plot... in a show revolving around alien rock people. (Congratulations, modern Simpsons - you are denser and more removed from reality than a cartoon on Cartoon Network. Says a lot, doesn't it.)

The most notable aspect of "Beach Party" is the fact that fans often tend to overlook this episode. It's not as "disliked" as "Onion Trade" is - they just tend to skip over it in discussions. While I can see why they tend to overlook it, I actually think that this episode isn't simply an episode thrown together to fill the season.

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday" (Season 10, Episode 12)

These nutjobs have earned the prestigious honor of Smooth Jimmy Apollo's Lock-Up of the Week!

Airdate: January 31st, 1999.

Plot: Through a series of barely connected events, Homer meets up with a travel agent who manages to get him and his friends to ride a coach bus to the Super Bowl, all for free. Thing is, their tickets have a problem - they're fake. Their attempt to go to the game... well, just look at the above image and guess how well that fared.

Review: I am a fan of the New York Football Giants. I've never been to a game (because being in the largest media market gives you the right to charge $100 for a low-end ticket and god-knows-what for food and stuff), but I've been watching the team on TV practically every fall for the past twelve years. The 42nd and 46th Super Bowls were some of the greatest sports memories of my life. And even with the team's recent malaise, I won't give up hope that the Giants will reach the top of the Football Mountain once again.

What does this have to do with "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"?

...nothing! Absolutely nothing!

...I kid, I kid... the episode does feature Football. And, much like the end of the past four Giants seasons, it hurt to watch and barely held any connection to anything.

Steven Universe Review: "Lion 2: The Movie" (Season 1A, Episode 17)

Honestly, the difference between this and IMAX? IMAX is slightly less deadly. Slightly.

Airdate: April 23rd, 2014

Plot: Steven and his once bubble buddy Connie want to go see Dogcopter 3, the movie based on a series of books. To try and get to the theater in time for the showing, they take Steven's really, really pink lion. However, said lion takes a little detour through a wormhole into a cave full of armor, weaponry, and all that.

Review: We're about ten episodes away from Steven Universe's first "epic" story - the "Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem" two parter. Those episodes are often cited as the moment that propelled Steven Universe from merely a quirky Cartoon Network cartoon into one of the most lauded science fiction shows of all time. From that moment on, episode upon episode became laden with heavy character development, emotional levity, and an awesome soundtrack from Sucrose and Co.

However, the seeds for what seems to be the show's current critical "imperial phase" (to steal a saying coined by the Pet Shop Boys) have been sown all along - even as far back as "Gem Glow". Few episodes in Season 1A, though, laid more seeds than "Lion 2: The Movie"

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken" (Season 10, Episode 11)

Those kids may need an optometrist.

Airdate: January 17th, 1999

Synopsis: The Springfield Isotopes win the league pennant, causing a gang including Homer and his friends to vandalize the Springfield Elementary School. The next morning, the blame is pinned... on the children of Springfield, who are promptly placed under a curfew. Infuriated at this, the children proceed to set up a pirate radio show, which serves as a tabloid-esque program leaking the secrets of the townspeople.

Review (SPOILERS): "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken", when I was younger, wasn't necessarily my favorite episode of the show. I don't know why it didn't like it - it really just never endeared itself to me. Strangely, though, it's cited as one of the better ones from Season 10. Now that I'm older, and have watched some really bad Simpsons episodes, has it gotten any better?

Steven Universe Review: "Steven The Sword Fighter" (Season 1A, Episode 16)

"My name is Pearl Montoya. You killed Garnet. Prepare to die!"

Airdate: April 9th, 2014

Synopsis: A rainy movie night at the Beach House leads Pearl to mock the movie of choice, Lonely Blade IV. She lambasts the sword-fighting, in particular. One mention of this later, and the Gems go to a cloud temple, where Pearl shows Steven fencing tendencies. The simulation features a Hologram version of Pearl, who loses the first time. Pearl's attempts to hammer in to Steven that these are non-movie sword-fighting techniques, though, leave her distracted. This leads to a bit of a slip-up in the simulation.

Whoops.

Thankfully, it's only a flesh wound, in a sense. Pearl has to stay in her gem for some time, though, so Steven tries to make do with Holo-Pearl. This seems unwise, however.

Review (SPOILERS): Remember in "So Many Birthdays", when the Crystal Gems watched Steven almost age to death because he was emotionally disturbed by his aging and humanity? Well, here, the tables are turned, as Steven gets to watch his adoptive mother get impaled by a copy of herself. And, while that episode shifted it's tone halfway through that episode, this one stabs it within the span of three and a half minutes. Impressive. (Yes, I am aware that I am going to Hell for that pun.)

As a whole, though, how does this episode stand up?

Steven Universe Review: "Onion Trade" (Season 1A, Episode 15)

"You clearly don't know who you are shooting GUYS at, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Steven - I am the danger! A guy opens his door and gets Hynes Ketchup flung in his face - you think that of me? No... I am the one who knocks!"

Airdate: March 15th, 2014

Synopsis: Steven loses his Ranger GUY, a part of his Guys Under Your Supervision collection. While his attempts to acquire one via the vending machine fail, he notices that Onion has it. Thing is, Onion, who is a rather... eccentric kid, is not willing to barter for Steven's low-rung Dave Guys. Amethyst points to a matter replicator to try and multiply the Dave Guys even further. Onion instead takes the replicator. Hilarity ensues.

Review: "Onion Trade" is often cited by fans as among the weakest episodes of Steven Universe, if not the weakest episode of the show. The reasons why vary, from a lack of emotional impact, to a lack of comedy, to the character of Onion himself. Thus, I am faced with the question - is it as bad as everybody else says? Or is it a good episode, unfairly maligned by the SU fandom? Or, does it fall somewhere in the mushy, unremarkable middle - which, given some of the later episodes, will likely fall to the fringe?

Steven Universe Review: "Lars and the Cool Kids" (Season 1A, Episode 14)

There's probably some form of symbolism in this image... or maybe I'm just seeing things.

Airdate: March 10th, 2014

Synopsis: Steven's quest for lunch lands him against Lars's continued attempts to come off as cool, and thus, get involved with the "Cool Kids" - Sour Cream, Buck Dewey, and Jenny. Hilariously enough, Steven manages to talk to them, and convince them to bring along the kid and Lars. They take a trip up to "Dead Man's Mouth", a lake that contains a lot of moss... moss that was grown and treated by Rose. It's also moss that will overtake whatever it touches in a matter of seconds.

Review (SPOILERS): Before we begin, I should mention that "Lars and the Cool Kids", if my memory serves me correctly, was among the first episodes of Steven Universe I recall watching. (I think I may have seen "Gem Glow" and "Laser Light Cannon" before, though.) I don't recall watching the episodes first run until StevenBomb 3 ("Cry for Help", to be more specific), and I don't remember when I saw this episode, but, hey, this was an interesting intro to the show.

One of the first characters introduced in the Steven Universe canon (if the pilot is discounted), Lars set the stage as a direct contrast to Steven. Cynical, insensitive, snarky, and brash, Lars is the closest thing the show had to a reoccurring antagonist in Season 1A - the "sitcom" days, when Steven rolled around in a bubble with the new kid in town, when he became a pro-wrestler, when his attempts to be a birthday clown almost killed him.

Where was I? Oh, yes - Lars. The show's shift to more dramatic themes put him out of the picture, to an extent. However, he does get to shine in "Lars and the Cool Kids", an episode that shows him and some cool kids interact with the fantastical world of the Crystal Gems.