Steven Universe Review: "Giant Woman" (Season 1A, Episode 12)

Airdate: February 24th, 2014

Who needs charts to explain character dynamic when you have screenshots!

Synopsis: A fight between Pearl and Amethyst leads to Steven finding out about Opal. Who is Opal? Well, Amethyst describes it as "the two of us - mashed together!" Basically, Opal is a fusion between Amethyst and Pearl, combining their personalities and attributes to form a cohesive whole. Trouble is, the two are like a Prius and a Hummer.

Good timing - Garnet chucks the three up to the Sky Spire to get the Heaven Beetle, and requests that Steven act as a mediator. He does this by requesting Opal - even singing about it. Eventually, they come across said beetle... guarded by a bird. One who eats Steven and his pet goat.

Review: One of the great things about science fiction shows is the more liberal story engine that they tend to share. Most importantly, this affects character interactions. Sure, talking can be done anywhere, but some of the vehicles found in science fiction allow for characters to truly understand their own or each other's position - whether it be mindswaps, alternate realities, or, in this case, fusions.

For Steven Universe, it's fusion. This being the first episode to explore the concept, we "merely" get a look at the powers within.

Well, that would be the case for most other TV shows.

Rather, this episode presents a sizeable chunk of character analysis and interactions in 11 minutes, and the end result is one of the early greats in the Steven Universe canon.

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble"" (Season 10, Episode 8)

Airdate: December 6th, 1998

Truly a heartwarming moment... that will be spoiled in two seconds.

Synopsis: The whole family (plus Abe, for reasons needed to generate the plot) take a trip up to Bloodbath Gulch, a ghost town turned tourist trap. There, Abe drinks way too many sasparillas, and Homer refuses to stop for a rest stop on the way home. End result? Abe's kidneys blow out, and Homer is the only available donor. While initially willing to go through with the procedure, fears brought on by his friends cause Homer to bolt from the operating table.

Review (SPOILER): To paraphrase Futurama, Mike Scully, you raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir! Bravo! Yup, two steps forward with "D'oh-in" and "Lisa Gets an "A"", and one moonwalk back with "Kidney Trouble", among the most despised episodes in The Simpsons history. So, my expectations heading into this episode were lowered quite a bit.

And I still left, not only disappointed, but disgusted.

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Lisa Gets an A" (Season 10, Episode 7)

This grade is wrong, but not for the reason you might think...

Airdate: November 22nd, 1998

Synopsis: Lisa falls ill after being stuffed in a freezer to try and get some ice cream (no prizes for guessing who did it). Rather than study, she gets sucked into a video game, "Dash Dingo". She gets so hooked into the game, she forgets to read The Wind in the Willows... and comes back to a quiz on the book. ("Game over, mate!") Bart gets Nelson to hook her up with test answers, and she passes the test at such a level that the state no longer considers the school absolutely pathetic, and is willing to give them money.

Meanwhile, the aforementioned fridge-stuffer gets a pet lobster at the same supermarket. By "gets a pet", I mean Homer prevents Marge from cooking Pinchy, a lobster that the family brought for dinner.

Review (SPOILERS): Lisa Simpson is one of the more divisive characters in the Simpsons canon. This stems from the trend during the "double digit" seasons to have Lisa as the mouthpiece for the generally leftish writers, with little reasonable dissent or critique of said positions. While I see where they come from, my opinion of Lisa stems from the early seasons of the show - as it should. And while she did have moments where she seemed overtly opinionated, they were just part of her role as a wiser, more mature eight-year old, who still fell victim to the same weaknesses that eight-year olds have.

"Lisa Gets An A", surprisingly, has her fall victim to a trap that students tend to face - that of cheating. Not a bad idea, although does this episode execute it well?

Almost.

Steven Universe Review: "Arcade Mania" (Season 1A, Episode 11)

Before anybody asks, the fact that Onion is watching this shows two things - either Onion finds this unusual, or he's looking for another way to win a prize that, as far as I'm concerned, is above his age level... I think.

Airdate: February 17th, 2014

Synopsis: After failing to capture the spinoffs spawned by a Drill Creature in a cave... Garnet declares them to not be a threat, and calls the mission over. The Gems proceed to go to the local arcade, where Garnet trashes two games before getting hooked onto Meat Beat Mania, a rhythm-based games where the player shakes various meat-based products. And by hooked, I mean she ignores the return of the mini-Drill Creatures.

Review (SPOILERS): Steven Universe is a show that thrives on continuity. It's not noticeable in the first half of the season, but the show's world-building provides a lot of foreshadowing to events that will impact the rest of the series. The first half of Steven Universe's first season is genuinely aided by the power of hindsight - either that, or a really sharp eye. Speaking of which, "Arcade Mania", at first glance, one of the show's more "pedestrian episodes", is very much aided by hindsight. However, this doesn't mean that it can't hold up on it's own merits.

Scullyfied Simpsons: "D'oh-in' in the Wind" (Season 10, Episode 6)

Airdate: November 15th, 1998

Synopsis: While tracking down his middle name, Homer comes across a farm run by two former hippies, Seth and Munchie. Upon learning his middle name, and learning more about his rebellious mother and her interactions with said hippies (she painted a mural with Homer's full name), Homer takes an interest in the carefree lifestyle of hippies, and becomes one... not understanding that Seth (Martin Mull) and Munchie (George Carlin) have moderated their practices, even embracing the capitalist aspects of the 90s.

Review (SOME SPOILERS, POSSIBLY FOR OTHER EPISODES): In hindsight, maybe the 60s counterculture was too good to be true. Intended as an anti-establishment movement meant to get humanity more in touch with Earth and the fellow man, as well as generate social reforms, ironically, not only has it become the defining image of the 60s (to the point of cliche), but arguably became absorbed and moderated by the mainstream itself. Not that this was a bad thing, though. However, there is an irony here.

In many regards, The Simpsons was a counterculture in and of itself, or at least represented a counterculture. After the seemingly conservative, politically and socially stolid 80s, where American morals and archetypes were reinforced, came this show that managed to lampoon (if not subvert) every single aspect of Americana. Unfortunately, episodes like "When You Dish Upon A Star" seemed to represent the show becoming mainstream. Here's where the absorption of the counterculture in the mainstream proved to be detrimental - modern Simpsons episodes seem to run on cliche plots and hackneyed dialogue, attempting to be trendy and cool, and just coming off as a pathetic show that needs to be axed. Soon.

Now that that's out of the way, "D'oh-in in the Wind" is, in all honesty, quite an improvement over the aforementioned last episode. (That's not a hard feat, but still.)

Steven Universe Review: "Steven's Lion" (Season 1A, Episode 10)

"Today, Optimum sent a lion to repair my cable. While it didn't improve too much, I did see their Raining Tacos commercial. Four stars. Would recommend." 

Airdate: January 27th, 2014

Synopsis: While looking for a structure-generating Gem in the desert, Steven comes across a magical pink lion. Said lion doesn't eat the kid - rather, the lion follows Steven and the Gems back to the Temple. There, Steven attempts to domesticate said lion like a dog... to less success. However, said lion might have ulterior motives for following Steven to the temple.

Review (SPOILERS): So... Steven gets a pet. Under different circumstances, getting a magical pet would be a sign that your show needs to have a bullet placed in it. However, we're only in the 10th episode, so the conclusion can either be A) fastest shark-jump ever, or 2) quirky world-building. A closer analysis of this episode (ok, even a cursory analysis) would suggest (ok, confirm) that it's the latter.

Steven Universe Scoring System - The Trial Period

Well, Happy New Year, everybody! Hope you had a winter break, and that if you did, it went very smoothly. Mine went pretty well - decompression after what was honestly a rather rough semester. But, I'm back, and hoping to make 2016 a bit more active than 2015.

That shouldn't be too hard - while one show is closing, another one is getting back in gear, and I'm reviewing another show I love. In fact, that last show is the point of this post.

Re-reading my Steven Universe reviews, I feel like using my 1-10 score system for that show has some flaws. As far as I know, under the current system, even the worst Steven Universe episode won't get any lower than a 6 score (and here's hoping that holds.) Now, you could make an argument that it shows just how good Steven Universe is.

Still, I feel like, to accurately measure Steven Universe, I should score it against the standards it has set itself. Therefore, I have come up with a new score system, and I am going to test it out over the next few reviews, see how I like it.