Scullyfied Simpsons: "Mayored To The Mob" (Season 10, Episode 9)

Airdate: December 20th, 1998

Those aren't Idaho Potatoes!

Synopsis: A trip to the Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con goes horribly wrong when Mark Hamill doesn't talk about Star Wars at his panel. With a riot breaking out, and Mark and the Mayor's lives threatened, Homer barges through the nerds and rescues the duo. Quimby promptly fires his old bodyguards and replaces them with Homer. This, however, leads to trouble when Homer winds up discovering that a deal with the Mafia to send low-quality milk to schoolchildren went too well (read, the Mafia was using rat's milk.) With the ring busted, Fat Tony threatens Quimby's life.

Review: OK... Homer gets another job. Over the previous eight episodes, he's been a grease jockey, an inventor, a personal assistant, a hippie, and a coward on the Ship of Lost Souls (although that last one only lasted mere minutes before he got thrown out.) So, why did the writers give him another job? I think, in reality, Mark Hamill just walked by Ron Hauge at some restaurant in LA, Hauge thought of an episode where Homer and Mark met up, and before you know it, Homer's a bodyguard.

Anyway, this episode was better than "Kidney Trouble". Then again, a test pattern would've been better than "Kidney Trouble".

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Bart the Mother" (Season 10, Episode 3)

Now to figure out which one is Chirpy Boy and Bart Jr. The madness! THE MADNESS!

Airdate: September 27th, 1998

Synopsis: Bart kills a bird, raises it's babies, and it turns out it wasn't the bird's babies that he was raising.

More specifically, Bart defies his mother by hanging out with Nelson, who just acquired a BB gun at an arcade. One false move, and not only is a bird dead, but Marge finds out and decides to give up on trying to interact with him. Feeling utter guilt, Bart decides to raise the eggs as his own... and lizards wind up hatching.

Review: Ah, ZZZZZZ... oh, sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah, this episode. A pretty blasé, boring half hour... well, the first two acts, anyway. The third act, I don't know what happened.

The first part of the episode is so boring, that I don't think I'm gonna go in depth here. This might be my shortest review since I don't even know when.

Scullyfied Simpsons: "The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace" (Season 10, Episode 2)

Airdate: September 20th, 1998

Synopsis: Reaching a midlife crisis, Homer becomes despondent on life. After a projector breaks down, Homer rhetorically asks "who invented this thing?" Lisa responds, and Homer has a new goal - be the new Thomas Edison. He becomes obsessed with the man... and, when it turns out that Edison invented something that Homer seemed to invent - a chair with an extra set of legs on hinges - Captain Wacky becomes hellbent on destroying Edison's chair.

Review: Sounds like a Scullyfied Simpsons. Ain't been reviewed onto nigh for two months.

Tsk, tsk, tsk - trouble a brewin!

Homer's sorta pitiful life is the centerpiece of the greatest Simpsons episodes. Even when he is involved in something landmark (such as going into space), there's this tinge in the writing that he got there by the thinnest of margins (aka, Barney going insane and falling off the top of a mattress factory). Despite this, he almost always maintained a love for the simple things you'd expect a 40-year old to love - TV, Duff, all that jazz.

Indeed, deconstructing his simple life by putting him in a midlife crisis seems like tough ground to tread. It doesn't seem like Homer would be the one to encounter that, but I'd be willing to excuse that somewhat as a deconstruction of what his life has been.

Then Lisa brings up Thomas Edison, and the episode becomes... a tad bit more haphazard.

Red Dwarf Review: Series X, Episode 5: "Dear Dave"

Airdate: 1 November, 2012

Synopsis: Lister's having one of those days where he mopes around about being the last human alive. To interrupt his sadness, he realises that two vending machines are fighting for his affections. Making matters worse? He gets a letter from the past, telling him that he may have sired a kid. Meanwhile, Rimmer is threatened with demotion by the ship's on-board computer (not Holly, sadly) for failure to perform duties, putting him on par with Lister. He realises that he'll be able to avoid being put on equal footing if he can convince the computer that Lister's nuts, thus giving him an excuse as to why he didn't perform.

Review: Let's get this off the bat - this is the weakest episode of Red Dwarf X. The reason? It seems like they wanted to siphon elements from Series I and II, yet forgot what made those series... quirky in the first place.

Scullyfied Simpsons: Season 9, Episode 18: "This Little Wiggy"

Airdate: March 22nd, 1998

Synopsis: After noticing that Ralph is constantly bulled due to his "off" character, Marge arranges a meetup between Ralph and Bart, much to the latter's chagrin. As Bart realises the power his father lords as the chief of police, such as having the master key, Bart begins to use Ralph to break into various places, like a toy store, a bakery, and a local jail.

Review: If ever I were to pick the best "valentines day" episode of any show ever, it would probably have to be "I Love Lisa". Not only does it have a simple yet compelling story between the ditzy yet soft-hearted Ralph and the intellectual yet occasionally aloof Lisa, but it also showcased that Ralph was more than just a prop character, a "kid in the back". He was a loner, ostracised because of his ditzy behaviour, yet was an utter savant when it came to the stage. It's probably my favourite "holiday" episode of The Simpsons by quite a margin. If ever you need proof that the classic seasons of The Simpsons were able to craft some of the most fantastic characters in TV history, watch that episode.

I bring that epsiode up because, again, Ralph is the centre of an episode revolved around him. You can feel the difference in the two episodes. One gives him natural character development that pulls at almost every emotion imaginable, whilst not being overtly sappy. The other tries too hard to be funny, and as a result, seems to reserve it's characters to joke fodder.

The Scully Era was infamous for taking certain traits that the characters had, exaggerating them, and making it the centre of their characters, if not their only discernible trait. As I mentioned before, Homer's moments of selfishness and his occasional lapse in judgement were transformed into a impulsive sociopath at the centre of the universe. However, he was merely the most infamous example: pretty much every character was either mishandled or exaggerated, and Ralph got it almost as bad as Homer. From a somewhat ditzy, slow on the uptake kid, Ralph is rapidly degenerated to outright insane levels of ditzy-ness.

Now, cartoonish exaggeration of traits can be a good thing... but they have to be done well. Take, for example, Rimmer from Red Dwarf. Series 1 and 2 just showed him as a neat freak jerkass who never seemed to have moments of happiness. When Rimmer acted like a jackass from Series 3 on, he was portrayed as a madman who made you wonder why Holly never turned him off. However, that was balanced by insights into his life, which showed a childhood that was miserable in every regard. Thus, while the character was still funny, he was also very much a relatable character.

Ralph does get a little bit of development- walking into a haunted penitentiary to get the master key, and chasing after a rat do suggest a braver Ralph- yet it's but brief, and only used to lead to the stupidest episode conclusion thus far.

Every single manoeuvre, every single line... it's all coincidence after coincidence. Poor attempts at red herrings abound, and the end result is a mess. Lampshading it, at least in this instance, does not help matters. I'll give the writers that the town is stupid, but the dearth of comedy? Come on.

It's really just an episode that's not really memorable for the humour as much as it is for the potential character development it squandered. If anything, this episode is a sign- character development and comedy were slowly being replaced by zany plots, insert character here.

Tidbits:

• I've got nothing. This epsiode was really a dead-zone for comedy.

Jerkass Homer Meter: 1. There was nothing really irritating about Homer here.

Zaniness Factor: 1.5. Most of the silly stuff is done based on coincidence. 

Favourite Scene: OK, I'll give the scene at the Knowledgeum credit. That was pretty damn funny.

Least Favourite Scene: It's a tie between the first half of the second act, and the last four minutes. Can't choose what irritated me more: the dryness or the stupidity.

Score: 5.

Red Dwarf Review: Series VI, Episode 4: "Emohawk: Polymorph II"

Airdate: 28 October, 1993.

"Curse you, magic beans!"
"Oh, stop blaming the beans!"
-The Simpsons: "Homer the Vigilante"

Synopsis: Rimmer's emergency drill for the Starbug crew (posting a record time of 1:17:30) proves ironic, as the crew are intercepted by a Space Corps enforcement vessel. Threatened with death for theft of derelicts, the shuttle is hammered by missiles. Starbug manages to flee, but manages to crash land in an ocean on the moon, putting out the flames before they reach the fuel tanks. Nobody is injured, but most of Starbug's contents are damaged by either fire, flood, impact damage, or Cat's desire to never hear Lister play guitar again. Auto-repair can fix most of the ship, but they have to trade with the Kinotawawi, the local GELFs, to get a new Oxy-Gen unit, so that they can breathe in space.

In return for the unit, Lister must marry the daughter of the Chief of the Kinotawawi, who Lister doesn't find too attractive. He plans to slip out in the middle of the night, but is forced to flee due to various circumstances involving the honeymoon. ("CHANGE OF PLAN! LEG IT!!!!") Cheated by this manoeuvre, the Chief sends out one of his Emohawks- domesticated Polymorphs- to attack. It slips aboard Starbug and begins to attack, knocking down Cat's cool and making him the Duke of Dork himself, while at the same time, dragging out Rimmer's snideness and bringing out the Space Corps hero himself. If you don't know who these two are yet, watch Series IV and V again.

Review: This time, we get three sequels in one. And not just an "aping plot elements" type sequel - no, no. This time, this is pretty much three direct sequels in one here. The tragic part? The potential here is squandered, and it comes close to denting the memory of three of the greatest Red Dwarf episodes of all time.

First, the obvious. This episode is clearly a direct sequel to "Polymorph". For those that need a refresher... click on the link. The difference? There, the Polymorph was given enough development and plot time to get the basics; the Polymorph simply drained the most negative aspects of everybody and everything it hit. Since it hit four of the most screwed-up people ever, it managed to make them into even more deranged people. Here, it's target is unclear. Does it ape personality aspects, or certain emotions? And why does it produce physical changes? I'll go with "it's a different evolution", except it was said to be merely a trained Polymorph. Rule of funny? Maybe, but in a show as well crafted as Red Dwarf, it's just a bit frustrating.

Second, they bring back two characters who have no business being here.

• We have Duane Dibbley, who I praised in my "Back to Reality" review as one of the reasons why I consider that to be Red Dwarf's magnum opus. Most of Duane's humour came on how he was stunned to learn that he was merely playing somebody as cool as The Cat. It's a deep character moment: once Duane realises that he's really worthless, once the rest of the crew turn to suicide, he not only jumps in, but recommends the most efficient way of doing so. Here? He's just a vehicle for geek jokes. No depth.
• Ace Rimmer, from the epic "Dimension Jump", gets a little better treatment. A lot of Ace's comedy came from the fact that he was so unlike Rimmer; he's brave, selfless, friendly, and well-rounded. I can see where they were going with bring in Ace here: he's what Rimmer thinks Ace is. Why? Well, his plan is just risky: suck the Emohawk out into space, leading to certain death, but to "spare" Duane, he's going to kill him beforehand. I just hope that's the case. Alternate theory; they forgot how to write for Ace, but brought him "back" because Ace+Duane+Polymorph=PROFIT!

The rest isn't top-notch Red Dwarf, either. I would've loved to see an episode dealing with the Space Corps law enforcement. It may have aped from "Justice"... but I liked "Justice" due to it's focus on character which, barring the last two episodes, this series seems to have put on the back burner. Here, most of the episode is sitcom-based humour (although I like the ambiguity of the Space Corps Directive joke).

This also brings me into another aspect that really didn't please me; this is an episode that goes through plot points as quickly as a modern Simpsons episode. The shuttle is intercepted by law enforcement, causing the crew to crash land, causing them to trade with the GELFs, causing Lister to flee an arranged marriage, causing an Emohawk to board the ship, leading to comedy between Ace and Duane... it's almost disjointed. Every plotline starts out decently enough, but the jokes become repetitive as time goes on.

A good chunk of the comedy that works holds up on it's own merits. However, a sizeable chunk is held up mainly by the acting merits. I doubt jokes like "CHANGE OF PLAN" or "DUANE DIBBLEY" would be as funny as they are without the acting chops of Craig, Chris, Danny, and Robert here.

Overall, not really a good episode. It passes based on acting, the comedy that works, and the potential. The problem here is that a lot of the potential is shamefully wasted, and it almost drags down two fantastic characters.

Tidbits:

• The set for the GELF scenes was actually to be used for the aborted TV show Covington Cross. Chances are, this allowed Grant/Naylor to use more explosive special effects.
• Either way, the cash saved didn't go to another Ace wig. The original toupee was unavailable. Thus, he got a replacement... a cheaper replacement.
• The guy who played the GELF chief, Ainsley Harriot, not only became a celebrity chef, but also hosted a comic special for Red Dwarf's 10th anniversary where the characters tried to cook.
• Steven Wicknam played the GELF bride. He would later get a bit of a "promotion"-type deal in the show; 19 years later, he was brought back to be the chief of another GELF tribe in Series X's "Entangled".
• Strangest thing about this episode? I now have a fear of cafeteria-sized bean cans.

Favourite Scene: I personally felt that the GELF scene worked the best.

Least Favourite Scene: I'll just say that Duane's behaviour here brought me down.

Score: 5.5

Scullyfied Simpsons: Season 9, Episode 11: "All Singing, All Dancing"

Airdate: 4 January, 1998

Synopsis: Homer claims to hate musicals, revealing his disdain after renting a musical that Homer thought was a Clint Eastwood western. The rest of the Simpsons note the irony of this, stating the mere fact that the family (and the entire town) tend to break into song on a semi-regular basis. Meanwhile, Snake tries his hand at robbery... and reveals his distaste for musicals.

Review: This will be a short one; it's meh. It's a clip show; what more do you expect? I'm not really going to go into depth here, though.

First, let's get this out of the way; the clips themselves are sublime. The first eight seasons of the show featured some damn good music. My favourite would have to be a tie between "In the Garden of Eden" from "Bart Sells His Soul" and "We Do" from "Homer the Great".

Now the original material. It starts out great: "Paint Your Wagon" was pretty damn funny. However, by the start of the second act, it runs low on gas. While most of the characters are, well, in character, for some reason, I just can't see Snake backing off as easily as he does. Maybe it was an attempt at character development. Maybe they just realised they needed something to keep the plot moving. Who knows?

It's also worth noting that not even the writers wanted to do this episode; the ending makes this pretty clear. Worth noting that this episode came out shortly after the release of the CD Songs in the Key of Springfield. Thus, I blame FOX executives for the dryness of this episode.

That's really how to sum it up: it's just a largely forgettable episode. I'll give it a pass, but only because it wasn't as nonsensical as "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace", and it reminded me of more entertaining episodes. If you want to watch a good clip show, watch "So It's Come To This: A Simpsons Clip Show", "Another Simpsons Clip Show", and "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular".

Tidbits: Just two.

• At the end, a shotgun is fired during the credits. Two blasts are heard on one occasion. Said occasion is when Phil Hartman's name comes up. Five months and change after this episode aired, Hartman's wife shot him dead before turning the gun on himself.
• David Mirkin was credited as the executive producer. For once, Mike Scully is absolved of blame.

Favourite Moment: "Gonna paint your wagon, gonna paint it good..." SING ALONG!

Least Favourite Moment: Snake leaves because he figures that the family would not make good hostages... because they sing. Just seems a bit off for him.

Zaniness Factor: 1.5, mainly for the singing.

Jerkass Homer Meter: 1. (That's a first, I think).

Score: 5.5.

Gravity Falls Review, Season 1, Episode 9: The Time Traveller's Pig.

Airdate: August 24th, 2012.

AAAAHHHHH!!!! PETE'S BACK!!!

Synopsis (Spoilers): During a funfair, Dipper tries to win a stuffed animal-thing for Wendy. Dipper, however, can't throw, causing Wendy to have a black eye. A series of events manages to have Wendy go out with Robbie. Meanwhile, Mabel wins a pet pig. Also, a time traveller called Blendin Bladin leaves his time machine (tape measure) laying down. Dipper and Mabel use it to try and get the stuffed animal for Wendy. After many failures, Dipper manages to get the stuffed animal... at the expense of Waddles.

Mabel and Dipper get into a fight, and begin to mess around with time. They wind up in the present, where Mabel is in a severe funk over losing a pig. Dipper resets things back to the way they were before, Wendy goes out with Robbie, Mabel gets a pet pig, and Blendin goes to jail.

Review: Be warned. This is going to be long, and may cause all 2 of my readers to chuck tomatoes at me. Because...

God. I. Hate. This. Stupid. Episode.

Never expected somebody who likes science-fiction to say that he hates an episode that revolves around science-fiction and time travel, huh? Well, not in this case.

This episode is like the antithesis of "The City on the Edge of Forever" from Star Trek The Original Series. The thing is, in "City on the Edge", time travel was used to try and save the common good, yet there was also a selfish motive for Kirk, his love for well meaning peace activist Janice Keller. Yet, the other option is quite clearly positive, making it possible to see why he would give up the love of Keller. In this episode, Mabel is JUST as, if not more, selfish then Dipper. Is she really flipping out... over a smegging pig? WHY WOULD YOU FLIP OUT OVER A SMEGGING PIG?

The worst part? She does not learn! She does not learn about the meaning of sacrifice the way Dipper had to learn. This episode makes her out to be an annoying, immature brat!

Oh, and Dipper's not a whole lot better. Changing time and altering the past just to get a girlfriend? Holly from Red Dwarf put the idea of changing time best:

"What about causality, then? What about determinism? You just can't go messing about with history!" -"Timeslides"

Congratulations, Dipper. A computer with an IQ that's only the same as 12000 Car Park attendants knows more about causality then you. That's incredible.

Granted, this does help kick-start a series of episodes where Dipper's self serving behaviour manages to slowly overtake him and control his actions. Still, how come a boy that book-smart did not question the idea of causality once in this episode?

Strangely enough, Dipper's selfish behaviour in this episode is more justified. Not 100%, as he does come off as a bit of a smeghead, just more justified. To explain why, we have to compare to Star Trek again. Kirk's selfishness from "City on the Edge" worked because he went into time travel with a purpose: to try and save the future and rescue Doctor McCoy. However, he falls in love, and has to decide on what seems ot be his true love, or the needs of the many in the future. Unlike with Dipper (who had to choose between impressing Wendy and Mabel getting a pig), Kirk's stakes were much higher, and ultimately, when he sacrifices his selfish behaviour, he does a good for the world (even though it initially provides a lot of bad for self). Dipper's stakes were much, much lower. Therefore, his selfishness could be justified. Mabel could have learnt that you can't always get what you want. But she does not. She almost is the villain in the episode, and if that is so, then the villain wins, hands down. The solution would be to have Mabel get Waddles before Dipper tried to impress Wendy. It's a rather simplistic solution, but considering that the other option is for Mabel to have a pet smegging PIG while Dipper has to sacrifice a chance at love, it makes some sense.

The worst aspect of the entire series is the triangle that is forming between Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy. We see this more in "Summerween", although that episode executes it better. When Mabel and Dipper's friendship is pitted against Dipper's desire for Wendy, it makes the episode that much worse. Oh, and the twins manage to ruin Blendin's life. No comeuppance for that. Their actions screwed up a poor guy's life.

And I will be blunt as can be here... I detest Robbie. Partially it's because of the shipper deep in me, but Robbie is just a prick, put in to try and give Dipper some motivation to try and go out with Wendy. That is his raison d'etre. Oh, I also hate Waddles. The pig contributes nothing to the plot. He is just there to screw Dipper over. Nice character, Alex! (Prepares for Waddles fans attacking me).

This episode does not get a score lower than what it gets mainly because it contains some funny moments. The Oregon Trail reference was creative, and there are some call backs to prior episodes, as well as some funny foreshadowing. Also, the method of Science-fiction is pretty damn creative, and quirky. And I personally love Blendin as a character. He is just so sympathetic and still a bit funny.

Still, outside of the humour, the episode barely passes. Barely.

Favourite Scene: The Oregon Trail scene was pretty funny.

Score: 5

Note: If I got anything wrong in this review about causality, or if you disagree with me, please comment. I would just like to wonder if I got anything wrong, or if you have a different opinion as to who was in the wrong.

Edit as of 16/2/14: You might notice that I have changed the score of this episode. When I first reviewed it, I gave it a 4, which indicates a failure. Upon rewatching, I appreciate what the writers were going for in the Dipper-Mabel conflict, and now feel that I was too hard on the episode. I have decided to bump it up a point, and give it a pass. Therefore, the first failure in the history of  this blog is that Simpsons episode where Ted Nugent becomes buddies with Homer for three minutes.