Steven Universe Review: "An Indirect Kiss" (Season 1A, Episode 24)

"Just today, you were crying about snakes!" "They don't have any arms!" - Steven and Pearl, engaging in riveting conversation about the tragedy of snake biology.

Airdate: September 18th, 2014

Written By: Raven Molisee and Paul Villeco.

Plot: Steven and Connie have come a long way from almost drowning together. Now, they have a pic-a-nic together. Thing is, Steven's undergoing a bit of an emotional malaise. Also, there's a fence by the lighthouse where they are having the pic-a-nic. Steven notes that the two are connected, but that the story ends sadly.

Apparently, Steven and Amethyst were horsing around on the edge. One thing led to another, and Amethyst fell of the edge, onto her gem. It cracks, causing her eye to dilate. Thus, Pearl requested, and presumably constructed, a fence up by the cliff.

OK, that's not a sad ending. Connie inquires about the rest, and Steven finally cracks.

Apparently, Rose used to have tears that healed Gems. Unfortunately, Steven can't muster up the tears readily. To fix Amethyst's gem (lest she be permanently damaged), they go for plan B. (And no, it's not moving the town 5 miles down the road.) The quartet wind up at Rose's fountain, which apparently has magical healing abilities. Unfortunately, the entire fountain is overgrown, driving Pearl to the brink of insanity. And Steven still can't muster up the tears. An internal crisis ensues.

Review: 

This episode marks the second part of Steven Universe's first five-part arc - one that fleshes out the Crystal Gems, Steven's role in the dynamic, and everybody's backstory. This time, we get a look at how Steven feels about the legacy he feels like he has to live up to. What follows is a very impressive episode - one filled with introspection and brilliance.

Steven Universe Review: "Monster Buddies" (Season 1A, Episode 23)

Looks like the Centipeetle literally has a rock. But can it inspire her? All we know is that it feels no pain.

Airdate: September 8th, 2014

Plot: Steven gets another pet! This time, it's a pet that tried to kill him.

Yeah, remember the first episode, where Steven tried to beat the Centipeetles with Cookie Cat Ice Cream? Well, this time, he winds up accidentally un-bubbling one of them - the mother, in fact - and letting them regenerate. Against Pearl's wishes, Garnet decides to let Steven domesticate her. That proves to be difficult, what with her spitting acid and all that. Oh, and it seems to have a hatred against the Crystal Gems.

Review: "Steven and the Stevens" explored Steven's role in the Crystal Gem dynamic by temporarily removing him from anybody but himself, and noting how they bounce off of each other on a comic level. Now, "Monster Buddies" shows him and the trio engage in something of a division within the ranks - one where the personalities clash on a dramatic level.

Steven Universe Review: "Steven and the Stevens" (Season 1A, Episode 22)

 Go on, guess who the drummer is! Here's a hint - it's not Ringo Starr.

Airdate: September 4th, 2014

Plot: While on a rather silly mission, Steven comes into possession of "the Glass of Time" - which allows him to, well, control time. His original plans for his Beachapalooza performance scuttled due to an issue with his dad's business, he decides to merely copy himself thrice over, forming the eponymous band. When appointed as the leader, however, conflict breaks out between the four Stevens.

Review: "Steven and the Stevens" is another episode that, while at first glance appears disconnected to the rest of the show, actually makes up for it's canon-lightness. In this case, we have an episode that takes a look at the Crystal Gem character dynamic, as well as how Steven bounces off of everybody else in the show. Oh, and how power corrupts and all that.

Steven Universe Review: "Joking Victim" (Season 1A, Episode 21)

"Sorry, the sign on the side of the store states that The Big Donut is not liable if you start breathing fire. Your lawsuit is thrown out."

Airdate: August 21st, 2014

Plot: Steven's attempts to chase down some fire salt fries (thanks, Amethyst) with soda lead to a mess at the Big Donut. Lars shirks his responsibilities via a "back injury", and Sadie gives him the day off. Steven, therefore, is appointed as a temporary Lars, and even manages to do a better job at the Big Donut. Still, Sadie can't just fire him - the two have something of a relationship.

To try and cheer Lars up, the two bring donuts to his house, only to catch him on the trampoline with the Cool Kids. A distraught Sadie reveals that this may not have been the first time this has happened, and vows revenge. Cue the fire salt donut. The consequences are really heated... as pictured above.

Review (SPOILERS): At first glance, this episode has such little a point as to it's existence, it's probably a sphere. However, a closer look does damage to that hypothesis. Yes, this episode is a "canon-light" one - an episode that does not have a whole lot of bearing in terms of major plot development. The episode isn't completely disposable, however - it fleshes out characters, and introduces a theme that will become a major one in season 2. In fact, dare I say, it's probably the most overlooked episode of the show's canon.

Steven Universe Review: "Coach Steven" (Season 1A, Episode 20)

You've messed with Sugilite for the last time! Prepare! For! GLOBNAR!!!!!!

Airdate: August 21st, 2014

Plot: A Gem communication hub is causing bursts of electromagnetic interference. The effects? As Garnet puts it, "it's hurting television". Rather than one of Pearl's strategic moves, Garnet instead ops to use raw power.

"Amethyst, fuse with me."

Enter Sugilite. Built, arrogant and boisterous, she become reckless in her destruction of the hub. This doesn't deter Steven, who suddenly wants to become macho, buff, full of muscle. Hell, he even recruits others (Lars, Sadie, Greg) to join him in his quest to become built. Pearl, though, is driven up the wall because of this.

Review (SPOILERS): First, no, I don't really listen to Nikki Minaj's music. I could not care less about it. I'll stick with the Pet Shop Boys and whatever's playing on WBAB and WLIX, thank you very much. She does a good job in voice acting, though.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way...

There's a lot of irony in the title of this episode. Despite the title indicating that this will focus on Steven, instead, we get what might be the very first "Pearl Pathos" episode - an episode revolving around fleshing out Pearl beyond her neurotic exterior. That helps combine with a bit of social analysis to create what might be the standout episode from Season 1A.

Steven Universe Review: "Rose's Room" (Season 1A, Episode 19)

Steven's gonna have a whale of a time with this room. I am the duke of bad puns.

Airdate: May 14th, 2014

Plot: It is a pretty bad night for Steven. First, the Gems can't go mini-golfing with him because they have a mission. Then, his attempts to play video games are interrupted with the trio's post-mission idiocy. Irritated, he wishes for things to go his way for once - a wish that opens up Rose's Room. In effect a holodeck, Rose's room can generate whatever Steven wishes for. Unfortunately, the effects can often be... dangerous.

Review: "Better Than Life" is my favorite episode of Red Dwarf. The episode features the trio's exploits in the titular Total Immersion Videogame. However, it winds up rooting itself in self-generated psychological terror on Rimmer's part, with his sweetest dreams turning into nightmares. He goes from being a respected, opulent real admiral to a married, bankrupt piece of ant chow, and he drags down the rest of the Red Dwarf gang with him. Needless to say, I died laughing... and brought more Red Dwarf episodes on iTunes.

Speaking of which, "Rose's Room". It takes a similar path. Except with less comedy. And very more emotional overtones (which, considering that the Red Dwarf episode involved Rimmer learning that his abusive father died before Arnie suffered radiation poisoning, is a rather hard feat.)

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Homer to the Max" (Season 10, Episode 13)

Airdate: February 7th, 1999

Plot: One of the midseason shows, Police Cops, features an Ace-type detective named Homer Simpson. This gives Homer a burst of popularity because of the similar names. However, a retool turns the detective into a lout, turning Homer into the joke of the town. After a plea to the executives falls less than flat, he finally decides to sue them. After that court case is thrown out, he asks for a name change to Max Power. With that name, he gains the attention of the A-List in Springfield.

Review (SPOILERS): Can television characters become deeply ingrained in our national psyche? Of course. Can it get to the point where it affects the lives of people with similar names? Likely. This is the topic that the episode was trying to take on, I think. Unfortunately, it's execution is quite a bit wonky, leading to a rather silly third act conclusion.

Steven Universe Review: "Beach Party" (Season 1A, Episode 18)

Ah, to be able to play volleyball... or any sports.

Airdate: April 30th, 2014

Plot: An attempt to destroy a pufferfish results in Garnet crashing into the roof of Fish Stew Pizza. With the trio walking away from the situation, Kofi Pizza (the owner) tells Steven that the trio are not welcome in the shop. Steven tries to patch things up by inviting the Pizza family to a picnic near the Temple. There, we see a bit of a clash between the two sides, drowning out possible underlying similarities... and any potential pufferfishes.

Review: Well, after the dense boringness of "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday", I'm watching a more straightforward episode with a more down to earth plot... in a show revolving around alien rock people. (Congratulations, modern Simpsons - you are denser and more removed from reality than a cartoon on Cartoon Network. Says a lot, doesn't it.)

The most notable aspect of "Beach Party" is the fact that fans often tend to overlook this episode. It's not as "disliked" as "Onion Trade" is - they just tend to skip over it in discussions. While I can see why they tend to overlook it, I actually think that this episode isn't simply an episode thrown together to fill the season.

Scullyfied Simpsons: "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday" (Season 10, Episode 12)

These nutjobs have earned the prestigious honor of Smooth Jimmy Apollo's Lock-Up of the Week!

Airdate: January 31st, 1999.

Plot: Through a series of barely connected events, Homer meets up with a travel agent who manages to get him and his friends to ride a coach bus to the Super Bowl, all for free. Thing is, their tickets have a problem - they're fake. Their attempt to go to the game... well, just look at the above image and guess how well that fared.

Review: I am a fan of the New York Football Giants. I've never been to a game (because being in the largest media market gives you the right to charge $100 for a low-end ticket and god-knows-what for food and stuff), but I've been watching the team on TV practically every fall for the past twelve years. The 42nd and 46th Super Bowls were some of the greatest sports memories of my life. And even with the team's recent malaise, I won't give up hope that the Giants will reach the top of the Football Mountain once again.

What does this have to do with "Sunday Cruddy Sunday"?

...nothing! Absolutely nothing!

...I kid, I kid... the episode does feature Football. And, much like the end of the past four Giants seasons, it hurt to watch and barely held any connection to anything.

Steven Universe Review: "Lion 2: The Movie" (Season 1A, Episode 17)

Honestly, the difference between this and IMAX? IMAX is slightly less deadly. Slightly.

Airdate: April 23rd, 2014

Plot: Steven and his once bubble buddy Connie want to go see Dogcopter 3, the movie based on a series of books. To try and get to the theater in time for the showing, they take Steven's really, really pink lion. However, said lion takes a little detour through a wormhole into a cave full of armor, weaponry, and all that.

Review: We're about ten episodes away from Steven Universe's first "epic" story - the "Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem" two parter. Those episodes are often cited as the moment that propelled Steven Universe from merely a quirky Cartoon Network cartoon into one of the most lauded science fiction shows of all time. From that moment on, episode upon episode became laden with heavy character development, emotional levity, and an awesome soundtrack from Sucrose and Co.

However, the seeds for what seems to be the show's current critical "imperial phase" (to steal a saying coined by the Pet Shop Boys) have been sown all along - even as far back as "Gem Glow". Few episodes in Season 1A, though, laid more seeds than "Lion 2: The Movie"